Dick and Dora in "The Case That Never Was" PDF Print E-mail
This is the unabridged version of my winning entry for the Bored to Death Worst Opening Paragraph to a Detective Novel Contest!

I knew that this doll was searching for the absent dick the instant she sashayed through the door and found me digging through his desk, but the dumb Dora assumed that I’d bought out her beau’s dickery and dove into a sob story about how her philandering fella must have flown the coop with some bird from the local Canary Club, so I kept mum, at least between yawns, until she realized that I wasn’t one to tolerate the rants of a dish on the rag and flashed her cash with the expectation that I’d dick around until I uncovered the truth, which I wasn’t selling since I’d given her guy a double dose of lead pipe poisoning not more than five minutes prior to her entrance; the broad had a chassis like a Buick, a rack to kill for, and more green than the Amazon, so I decided to take this dame to the bank and on the wildest ride of her life, never letting on about the stiff dick under the desk.

 
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